15a Swains Lane
020 8348 8300
by Mabel Syrup
Anonymous said, “Some one should try Kalendar in Swains Lane, that is the best breakie in nw5, you won’t be disappointed”.
“We shall take up this challenge” cried Mabel to her Malcolm one hungry Saturday morning.
It was a slight set back when it was discovered that Swains Lane neither exists in NW5, nor in certain A to Zs. Nerves were calmed, however, and stomachs shushed when it was found nestled at the bottom of Parliament Hill (N6 for anyone who’s counting).
Kalendar is set in a line of attractive cafes all equally brimming with people and regarding them on this morning was to arrive at the crest of the hill and see the beautiful sparkling sea you have been yearning for. This feeling continued past the man eating French toast and bananas, the delicatessen brimming with fresh cheeses and breads, the unmatching wooden chairs and tables that give the feeling of a large country kitchen, the iced tap water that arrived promptly, right up until the first piece of cutlery pierced the first item on our plates.
Kalendars’ English Breakfast filled us with promise; a handsome sausage, two organically shaped poached eggs, a robust strip of bacon, perfectly charred tomatoes and a slightly-too-large pool of baked beans.
I can’t begin to describe my disappointment when I discovered the sausage to be undercooked and an actual gag ensued after a bite of almost utterly raw egg. This is one of the saddest breakfasts I have had. Kalendar obviously know about good food and the importance of high quality ingredients yet we suffered the results of trying to cater for too many people in too little time. I would revisit Kalendar as I have faith it can succeed, but perhaps on a weekday, and perhaps I would have the French toast.