Kensington Square Kitchen, Kensington

Kensington Square Kitchen
9 Kensington Square
Kensington
W8 5EP
020 7938 2598
www.kensingtonsquarekitchen.co.uk

by Alotta Waffle

What with Kensington Square being one of the country’s most expensive places to buy property, you’d think its latest café might be something special. Yummy mummies and their personal trainers, ladies who brunch and those with time and money to burn would all (one might assume) be regulars. Not to mention anyone who is heartily sick of Whole Foods.

From the airy yet cosy feel inside, it seemed that I was not to be disappointed. The walls were pale green, the panelling was cream-washed and there were papers lying around for all to enjoy. But oh, how deceptive appearances can be.

Aghast when the granola came in a thimble – sorry egg cup-sized pot – I nearly broke a tooth on the burn-to-a-cinder oats that tasted both smoky and overly sweet from all the added sugar. A few well-chosen raisins or figs really would have sufficed.

The eggs fared a little better (again – small portions) but were a tad on the buttery side for those who prefer their scrambled to be firm. What a relief to find that both the toast and smoked salmon were entirely edible, and the staff at least friendly.

The clientele in KSQ is more media types from Associated News across the square – mainlining coffee or sweating their way through job interviews to get the hell out of there – than yummies or trillionaires.

The tea was fine, the coffee OK, and the yoghurt/berry mix very passable. But then I could have got all that (and more) from my local greasy spoon and not paid £25 purely, it seems, for the privilege of sitting in London’s most expensive square. Give it a miss – unless you’re going for a job interview, of course.