The London Review of Breakfasts

"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper." (Francis Bacon)

Monday, October 09, 2006

Nico's Restaurant, Bethnal Green

Nico's Restaurant
299 Cambridge Heath Rd
Bethnal Green
020 7739 8832

by Blake Pudding

I woke up with the word "leadership" on my lips. Perhaps it was to do with the meandering my life had taken of late or perhaps it is something to do with the Duke of Wellington, whose boots are never far from my feet. I had been at a fashion party the night before trying to think of the Estonian for "does your father know you're here?" I roused my brother Thomas and suggested a trip to Nico's.

First impressions were good. There were big sheets of bright cardboard cut into Batman-esque "ker-powww" shapes but with "Sausage, egg and chips £3.49" or "Steak pie, chips and beans £4.49" instead. There was a bald cockney behind the counter- he didn't have a badge on saying Nico because there was no need - this was clearly Nico and he was clearly in charge. From that moment on I knew we were in safe hands.

I went off-piste with the fried eggs, bubble, bacon, tomatoes, tea and toast. I forget what Thomas had. Wellington said that an army marches on its stomach but I doubt anyone could march after this amount. There was a mountain of delicious bubble under which I kept on finding more and more rashers of bacon. There were two eggs and no less than 3 big tomatoes grilled to a sweet gooey consistency. The tea came from a pot and the bread was crusty.

After finishing I smiled at Thomas much as Wellington must have smiled at Blucher after Waterloo, a smile that spoke of a job well done. Then a set breakfast of leviathan-like proportions came past and I realised how paltry our victory had been. Meanwhile as Nico was marshalling his forces in the kitchen, it dawned on me that the only losers here were lovers of uncluttered miltary metaphors.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You won't find another caf like this one anywhere. The portions are massive and only £5.60. Once you eat here you won't need to eat again for the whole day.

5:53 PM, March 15, 2011  
Anonymous vince Malta said...

I have been visiting London for my holidays for many many years and for me Nicos is the place to have my lunch,I love his Mixed Grill a real Giant of a meal and worth every penny of its price, whereever I am in London I always head for this place for my lunch and suggest that many people follow suit.

4:39 PM, August 06, 2011  
Anonymous Edgar Allen Poe said...

Once upon a midnite dreary, while i pondered weak and weary, as i nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. Tis` the 17 year-old version of Pauline Hickey from 1985 i muttered, so i let her in and buggered her senseless.

3:37 AM, December 12, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nico's is truly excellent, large portions of good honest food at reasonable prices - it's as simple and good as that :-)

5:53 PM, July 14, 2014  
Blogger Unknown said...

Classic English full breakfast with a completely appropriate about of fat,carbs and protein...great atmosphere, a do not miss part of London.

8:11 PM, June 23, 2016  

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