Cafe Euro Med, Kentish Town

Cafe Euro Med
225 Kentish Town Road
Kentish Town
NW5 2JU
020 7267 7761

by Malcolm Eggs

The LRB North London office is in Kentish Town and, intending to rest our quills for a Sunday morning, we thought we’d have an off-duty breakfast in an already approved establishment. But for some arcane reason Brassino and Mario’s were both closed so we reluctantly agreed to give the empty-looking Euro Med another try: reluctantly because our last (pre-LRB) visit had left us with a murky, regretful aftertaste.

An hour later, our cutlery lay shamefully parallel on plates grimly awash with the flotsam and jetsam of a breakfasting disaster. Inedible, slug-like mushrooms, depressed baked beans and fried slices of devious bready manslaughter were all present in the somber medley. We should never have come back.

There were as many waiting staff as customers, but we didn’t get served for an age. Our orders were taken wrongly and the food was undiluted villainy. Two of us who ordered the same vegetarian breakfast received completely different plates of food. Clinging to Ed's Eggs Benedict was a congealed, disgusting excuse for hollandaise sauce. Sigmund remarked that the vegetarian sausage resembled a stool sample.

If (and only if) you feel like paying for a disdainful slap in the face, Café Euro Med could be the place for you.