Elbows Café, Hackney
103 Lauriston Road
020 8986 2466
by Cathy Latte
I’ve awoken with a peculiar desire for vigorous exercise. I flop out of bed and off to the gym.
The thick-necked demonic woman on the rowing machine is very distracting, I have a vision of her pulsing calf vein leaping out and exploding on the wall. I feel a bit ill. Maybe I got up too fast. I plan breakfast to take my mind of it.
With a renewed zest Peggy Bread and I bound into Elbows taking our seats in big wicker chairs, the kind Cheshire housewives choose for their conservatories. They sit a little awkwardly not quite under the table, but that’s ok. Peg orders scrambled eggs and ham, the same for me but with veg. The breakfast menu’s not extensive and if you don’t like eggs then you’re a bit screwed. But there’s something virtuous about Elbows; not being surrounded by beer infused saturate cravers for a start, where toast’s served drizzled with olive oil not dripping with butter, where children guzzle nutrient soaked snacks. And it’s not that pricey either.
Food arrives and I’m about to tuck in when Peggy trumpets proudly “It’s a sprout!” As I turn she almost takes out my right eye with the impaled fork she’s waggling wildly around. Peggy, daughter of a Major is doing a marvellous impression of a flag waving, arsenal capturing lieutenant. But by darn it the girl’s right. Our fluffy eggs are punctuated with all manner of greens: sprouts, courgettes, spinach, pepper, peas. I know what you’re thinking. Sprouts and peas? And at breakfast? It should make no sense, but by golly it does, and I don’t even like sprouts. I don’t know what sauce they put on the accompanying salad but it tastes bloody great.
My oh my, what a saintly morning, I think, collating a nice big forkful of vegetation.