The Uplands Cafe, East Dulwich
21 Upland Road
020 8693 3948
by Tina Beans
There is nothing quite like being caught in the crossfire of a bar brawl to make a girl need a hearty breakfast. After all, it’s not every Friday night that two grown men decide to fall on your head mid-fight. Waking up a bit dazed, I made my way to the Upland Cafe in an attempt to cleanse my soul and fill my belly. This cafe has had a revamp in recent times and it would be hard to describe here the full oddity of the previous establishment, then called Café Ideal. I’m no psychic, but the vibes were definitely all wrong.
It is now a bright and airy place, with very friendly and welcoming staff. A nice man took our order using an impressive breakfast shorthand – BWD anyone? I could feel my strength slowly returning as we sat down to wait.
Already encouraged by the quality of the condiments (they were Heinz and HP), I was happy to receive buttery fresh mushrooms and a perfectly cooked egg. The bacon was crispy as requested, the pieces generous. But what made this breakfast great was the sausage, my favourite breakfast ingredient. Well cooked, this banger was herby – but not in a poncey way. Which sums it up, really – if you’re sick of dressed up, bourgeois breakfasts that don’t deliver then you will like this place. You won’t find herbs in your scrambled eggs, but you will find all the expected cooked well. Oh, and if you really are too battered from the night before, they do anything you like to take away.
Finally, seeing the aforementioned nice man hand out free lollypops to all the kids in the cafe restored my faith in human kindness after the previous night’s unnecessary violence. And what more could you want from a breakfast outing than that?