The London Review of Breakfasts

"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper." (Francis Bacon)

Monday, April 02, 2007

Delice de France, Euston

Delice de France
Euston Railway Station
Euston Road
020 8917 9600

by Phil English

The trouble with words, as someone smarter than me has no doubt more elegantly remarked, is that you can't always be sure you know exactly what they mean. This is particularly problematic when it comes to food and British humour (my two favourite things; see also Jewish humour). Take the following:

1. Sarcasm: a sneer or cutting remark.
2. Facetiousness: a humorous remark not designed to be taken seriously.
3. Irony: Use of words to indicate the opposite of their literal meaning.
4. Gourmet: someone who enjoys fine food.
5. Gourmand: someone who enjoys a lot of fine food.
6. Glutton: someone who enjoys a lot of food, fine or otherwise.
7. Emoticons: annoying things used by twats who can't express themselves in writing without recourse to idiotic primary-school motifs. (I know what this means really and it has nothing to do with food or humour, but this is my column so deal with it).

It sometimes helps to use an example to aid your understanding. Thus when asked the question, "shall we go to eat at Delice de France?", the following answers might be given:

1. Yeah! I fucking love it there!
2. What a marvellous idea. I've heard their double chocolate muffins and cappuccini are to die for.
3. Two thousand spoons? I asked for a knife.
4. No thanks, let's go to the Wolseley.
5. No thanks, let's go to the Wolseley. Twice.
6. Mmm, yes. Get me everything on the menu, especially one of those preternaturally rancid ham and cheese croissants. Scrunch, scrunch.
7. :(

So for the sake of clarity: I do not 'recommend' that you breakfast at Delice de France.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said! Although I think I should look up the precise meaning of 'said'. :|

11:11 PM, April 02, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's all true though I think that facetiousness should contain an element of inappropriateness:

- "He's choking to death on his stodgy cheese and ham croissant!"

- "Well hard cheese for him."

- "No really he's turning blue."

- "I think you'll find he's just hamming it up."

- "It is inappropriate to make jokes when a man is dying."

- "Sorry."

Something like that. Your example seems to be another example of sarcasm.

2:28 PM, April 03, 2007  

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