Delice de France, Euston
Euston Railway Station
020 8917 9600
by Phil English
The trouble with words, as someone smarter than me has no doubt more elegantly remarked, is that you can't always be sure you know exactly what they mean. This is particularly problematic when it comes to food and British humour (my two favourite things; see also Jewish humour). Take the following:
1. Sarcasm: a sneer or cutting remark.
2. Facetiousness: a humorous remark not designed to be taken seriously.
3. Irony: Use of words to indicate the opposite of their literal meaning.
4. Gourmet: someone who enjoys fine food.
5. Gourmand: someone who enjoys a lot of fine food.
6. Glutton: someone who enjoys a lot of food, fine or otherwise.
7. Emoticons: annoying things used by twats who can't express themselves in writing without recourse to idiotic primary-school motifs. (I know what this means really and it has nothing to do with food or humour, but this is my column so deal with it).
It sometimes helps to use an example to aid your understanding. Thus when asked the question, "shall we go to eat at Delice de France?", the following answers might be given:
1. Yeah! I fucking love it there!
2. What a marvellous idea. I've heard their double chocolate muffins and cappuccini are to die for.
3. Two thousand spoons? I asked for a knife.
4. No thanks, let's go to the Wolseley.
5. No thanks, let's go to the Wolseley. Twice.
6. Mmm, yes. Get me everything on the menu, especially one of those preternaturally rancid ham and cheese croissants. Scrunch, scrunch.
So for the sake of clarity: I do not 'recommend' that you breakfast at Delice de France.