The London Review of Breakfasts

"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper." (Francis Bacon)

Friday, October 10, 2008

Davy's Wine Bar, Fitzrovia

Davy’s Wine Bar
Euston Tower
283 Euston Rd
020 7387 6622

by Blake Pudding

I think most restaurateurs think that breakfast is easy. Just put a sign outside saying “now open for breakfast” and you can increase your profits without going to the trouble of paying for someone in kitchen. At least I assume that there was no one in the kitchen, if they were then they must have been purely decorative. No, instead I think that Davy’s, in an act of awesome cynicism towards its staff, employed two people to prepare the food and to serve. The unfortunate two ran around producing a lot of sweat, body odour and nervous smiles but not a lot of food.

When the food arrived it was horrible. Only scrambled egg was available so that it could be prepared in the microwave. It tasted like it had been made from a powder and rehydrated. All the food tasted pre-prepared and reheated. The mushrooms were grilled until they were as dry as porcinis. The toast was underdone, soggy and made from that bread that costs 10p a loaf and lasts a month. We had to ask for napkins, condiments, cutlery, butter, in fact everything you would need to make our revolting breakfast edible.

I know that Davy’s would respond that that there were two big groups in that morning – our group of 8 and another of 15 – but both of us had booked, the menu was very short and the two groups were the only customers. A competent cook in greasy spoon would have coped easily but then Davy’s were thinking only of the balance sheet. A memorandum to head office: do not offer breakfast if you’re not going to employ someone to cook it.


Anonymous Chicken in a Biscuit said...

Microwave scrambled eggs - bleeeeuuugh!

11:43 AM, October 13, 2008  
OpenID tbrd said...

Microwave scrambled eggs are a pet hate of mine. The awful thing I have discovered is that a lot of people don't seem to realise that they are not supposed to be cooked that way.

Across the nation, millions of people are completely unaware that they can be cooked in a pan. Whenever I come across them I feel cheated, for these are not scrambled eggs. They are some foul simulacrum.

It makes me want to walk in to the kitchen and show them how to do it properly.

But then, the other day I went in to a cafe for a bacon roll and they took a pre-prepared bacon roll off the shelf and shoved it in the microwave to warm up. They put a crusty roll in the microwave. It's like these people never actually eat the food they make. Horrifying.

10:56 AM, October 15, 2008  

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